


Five Times Peter's ADHD Got in the Way and the One Time it Didn't

by silver_moon_howler



Series: Error 101: Fucks not found [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, BAMF Michelle Jones, BAMF Pepper Potts, Blink and you miss Harley/Peter, Gen, Harley Keener & Peter Parker Friendship, Maladaptive Coping Disorder, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Over stimulation, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker has ADHD, Poor Peter, Precious Peter Parker, Protective May Parker (Spider-Man), Protective Pepper Potts, Rejection Sensitivity Disorder, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is Good With Kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-07-28 22:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20071741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_moon_howler/pseuds/silver_moon_howler
Summary: Peter has ADHD and sometimes the mental/emotional/physical toll is exhausting. Luckily he has people who know how to help.





	1. Sonder

The morning air was cool on his face, city street lights followed him as he swung down across the city. Peter stopped at an old building covered in trash bags and paint stains.  
  
"Hello", he called out into the building, "someone called a distress call, I'm here to help." He walked inside pushing the door in, watching it swing open sticking barely by the hinge. "I have a cupcake, for anyone who wants it", he held up a paper bag his aunt had packed for him, " I kind of smooshed it because I was texting while swinging but I'm sure you can still eat it."  
  
He stepped over broken glass, a small cracking sound coming from under his feet.  
"Hello?" The room was deathly silent, noise still filtered in through the streets but the lack of life was akin to the silence of a cemetery. "Karen, can you check for any people in the building?"  
'Sure thing Peter, I can also scan to see if said person is injured, would you like me to do that?' The eyes on Peter's mask widened, "Cool, sure!"  
  
'I have scanned one living life form on the third floor, eight-room to the right, they are currently unconscious but suffering from a large over-dose. Would you like me to call the authorities?' Peter shrugged,  
"Call an ambulance or something. What room did you say they were in?"  
  
Peter found a man lying face down on the floor in a pool of vomit. Peter made a face,  
"Karen is...is he dead?"  
'No, merely unconscious, an ambulance will be here in the next five to ten minutes, would you like to stay?' Peter stared at the man gaping, "I-uh, I", he clamped his mouth shut, "sure. Let's get out of here." He webbed the window and jumped out onto the streets before webbing the neighboring back, flying through the air.  
  
Peter was perched on the roofs edge, his mask in hand. He chewed softly on the cupcake as the man was wheeled out on a stretcher, an air mask over his mouth.  
"Karen, do you ever think about dying?"  
"I am an AI, Peter, I can not die." Peter nodded, "oh, sorry. Right." He stared at the people below him in a morbid interest, he wondered about their life in a state of Sonder. He wondered if the woman at his feet was being lied to by someone she loved, or if the man to his side wouldn't live as long as he hoped. His ears tuned in to the hustle below, his eyes glazing over until he didn't see, he only felt.  
  
_'I'm sorry Sandra but I need the presentation by tonight,' _  
**'I'll pick you up tomorrow, love you',**  
' _Do you know how much you humiliated me today,_'  
** 'I'm sorry, I swear I'll be there tomorrow.'**  
  
Peter's body went deathly still and his breath reached a steady beat, as constant as the thrum of the city. His hands folded on his lap, his mouth clamped shut, teeth grinding. Time didn't work around his body, waves of consciousness passed him by, sliding over his body and into another realm.  
  
"-eter." Peter barely blinked now, his eyes just twitching a film foaming over them.  
"-eter." The world looked so beautiful at his feet and he felt content, warm, happy. There was nothing to think about just the other people down below, those people lived lives like his. He lived a life like them, but it didn't matter, did it? He wasn't Peter because he forgot all about Peter. If Peter didn't exist in his mind Peter must not exist at all.  
  
A hand tapped Peter on the back.  
"Peter?" He didn't recognize the voice at first or the words, he knew they said something but he couldn't fully process what they said. It collapsed on top of Peter smashing into his brain like a freight.  
"Tony?" He looked up at Tony and smiled, "what're you doing here?" Tony looked at him with concern, "kid, what's happening? What're you looking at?" Peter looked back to the crowd and found there was nothing off interest. His body yearned to go back into that moment, it was a drowsy hunger in his chest leaking with desperation. He felt tired, so tired, "Why are you here Tony?"  
  
He looked around and noticed the suit standing straight up and the sky a dark purple, masked by New Yorks crown. It was night, he blushed sheepishly realizing he had been there longer than he thought. Tony took Peter's face and looked him over,  
"I came here for you, Karen told me you were talking about dying and then suddenly you just sat there and stared at people for an hour and a half." Peter blinked, "I...uhm. Sorry?" Tony glared at him,  
"Sorry? You're fucking sorry what happened?" Peter shrugged, "I saved a drug addict and got distracted that's all, ask May. I do this all the time."  
"And you talk about death too," Tony shrieked looking Peter over, "Karen, give me a reading."  
  
'Peter appears to be unharmed.' Tony sighed out,  
"No, scars or anything bad of that sort?" Peter yanked away,  
'Karen, mute. Are you seriously trying to check me over for self-harm?" Tony cocked an eyebrow,  
"Of course I am, you asked an AI about dying and then proceeded to stare out at a ledge until it was dark! Karen unmute."  
  
'Peter appears to have no self-inflicted scars but does have a rather large bruise on his collar bone from patrol, that should have healed by now." Tony nodded,  
"We need to get some food in your kiddo. When was the last time you ate?" Peter shrugged much to Tony's distaste, "what do you mean you don't know?"  
  
"I mean, I don't know, I forget to eat sometimes so sue me." Tony sighed, "Jesus Chris-you know, we're going out to get Italian together, my treat." Tony climbed into his suit grumbling about heat attacks before fifty. Peter turned back to the ledge searching for what might have been so interesting to him, he was desperate to get that back and hold on. It made him feel so relaxed and satisfied.  
"You coming, Pete?" Peter stared down the ledge trying to figure out what had been so interesting before, "I guess so?"  
  
  
The restaurant was a small hole in the wall somewhere in Brooklyn, the table clothe was checkered like the cliche and almost everyone around them had ordered Pizza. Peter ordered pasta, with a white sauce. Tony ordered garlic bread.  
  
"So you're telling me that you just zoned out." Peter shrugged sheepishly,  
"Yeah, sorry. I just...yeah, I do that, usually, I just end up swinging around until I hit a pole, or I'm reading in class and I don't know where I am when I look up, one time Ned had to stop me from walking up the walls because I had zoned out. It's nothing too bad, I can deal with it."  
  
Tony stared at Peter exasperated,  
"No big deal- thanks honey," he smiled sweetly at the waitress delivering the check, " No big deal? Listen to me, Petey, we are going to figure out what's happening and get you some help or else no more patrol, you got that?" Peter skewered a noodle with his fork, "oh I know what's going on." Tony cocked his head, "you do?"  
  
Across the room, children played excitedly on claw games, shrieking loud enough that even without super hearing it hurt.  
"It's my ADHD," he said matter a factly. 


	2. Rejection sensitivity disorder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes there's an annoying pre-teen in your chest that's more abusive than Edward in Twilight. It's best to just treat it like you would any bratty pre-teen, give it the bird, shove it aside and ignore. Often times I can't so I don't like to form connections.

'_He hates you, you know.' _

Peter twitched his head to the side and tapped his foot anxiously to dispel negative thoughts.

_ 'You get on his nerves, why don't you just shut up!' _

Peter tapped his foot harder as his finger tapped furiously on the keyboard, building coding and erasing coding with fingers flying across his laptop. Harley glance at Peter nervously.

_'He's going to realize that the only reason you're here is because you're a super. After that he's going to tell everyone else you don't belong. Would you like to be experimented on Peter?' Because when he tells Tony that you're worthless in the lab Tony will make you apart of his lab, are you happy here Peter as a science project? Ask Bruce Banner about how he felt to be a science experiment. Oh wait you can't he's missing, just like you should be." _

Harvey cleared his throat loudly. Peter's tapping was bordering on panicked, his fingers were drumming insistently into the table like the marching of men.

_'Why did you even think you could make friends again? You can't keep anyone around you for longer than a year, year and a half if your lucky. Why did you invite someone new when you know he'll annoy you or get annoyed by you and he'll turn at like all the rest. Shitty emotionless people pleasers.' _

Peter had zoned in on the screen and the screen alone, taking no heed of the outside world. Harley glared at him about to reach over and grab his hand.

_Or maybe he won't be shitty-maybe they all weren't, maybe you just think to highley of people, maybe they leave you because your pathetic and worthless. _

Harley reached over to grab his sleeve when Peter shut the laptop harshly and screamed into his hands. Harley stumbled back, "...you okay, man?" Peter nodded and continued to tap wildly into the desk top his eyes flickering across the room.

_Tony treats you like a child _

_Michelle can't talk to people normally _

_Ned doesn't understand how people work _

_Harley is a stuck up asshole who thinks he owns the place. _

Peter stormed out of the lab and ran to his room, slamming the door shut behind him. He drummed anxiously against the walls, running hands through his hair till it was all mussed up and staticky.

_You always do this Peter, you always see the worst in your friends, you look for the worst in people. You want to hate them so when they hate you it won't be your fault. Just like it always is! _

"Hey Peter?" Harley knocked on the door leaning close, "are you alright?" Peter tapped on the frame his eyes scattering across the room, "I'm-", he swallowed as his heart tried to leap from his chest and out into the room, "I'm fine, Harls', just...just go away for awhile...please?" Harley sighed, "You know I can't do that Pete', unless you feel like me calling Tony to come help."

_ You're annoying him! He was trying to work, why are you such a jerk about these things, he was working. Are you such a bother that you actually draw him away from his hobby? I'm sure he'd rather be doing something he enjoys instead of spending another second with someone he hates like you. _

Peter opened the door and let Harley in. "I'm sorry about earlier...I..get like that. I swear I won't do it again." Harley frowned, "That's a normal thing for you? You freaked out out of nowhere." Peter shook his head, "I'm not crazy I just get like that sometimes where I just panic because I'm worried people...I'm worried that you guys aren't going to like me when you know me."

_ Liar, you panicked because you see the truth. You're annoying, people hate you and the only reason why they leave isn't because they didn't have the capacity for friends, it's because everyone around you is affected, they all hate you. _

Harley grinned, "What are you talking about, Parker. I do know you and you're awesome." Peter shrugged, "I...just get like that regardless of whether or not I believe you." Harley stood up and brushed his front of, "well...do you believe me?"

_He's lying, he's waiting to embarrass you, he's an arrogant snob who's jealous of you. _

Peter smiled shyly, "Yeah, yeah I do." Harley nodded, "great because I think I've had enough of lab work for today. Let's just order Pizza and watch America's funniest home videos, huh?" Peter shrugged, "..sure." Normally Peter didn't like to watch TV because either he couldn't sit still or he'd watch so much TV he'd look up and it'd be a different day. But Peter felt like he could make an exception for now, just this once.

_ He pitied you, he's waiting for you to mess up. He'd rather be with anyone other than you, he has next to no friends and he'd rather be with anyone other than you. You should just leave him now before he leaves you. _

Half way through pizza Harley turned to Peter grinning and said, "Tell me the next time your thingy starts acting up, I'll beat it up for you." Peter liked to think of his ADHD as part of himself, but also a demon in his chest. Right as Harley spoke with Pizza stuffed in his mouth and his hair a mess the demon decided that maybe Harley could stay for now-but if he crossed Peter over there would be no forgiveness.


	3. Maladaptive Coping Skills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter can't stop. 
> 
> Maladaptive Coping skills is where you develop habits to avoid or cope with problems. I often think Peter uses his Spidey powers to cope with everything, kind of like the rush. For me I used to use self-harm but now I channel it into typing.

"Hey, Peter. Your lunch is ready."  
  
Peter jumped from his bed racing from the room grinning ecstatically.  
"May, guess what. May, I broke my record against Ned, I beat Ned. Can you believe it." 

  
May chuckled scrapping a grilled cheese off the stove top and onto a plate.  
"Well okay, guess this a celebration sandwhich then." She placed the plate in front of Peter, "Hey by the way does Tony know I'm leaving for the weekend or did you forget to tell him."  
  
Peter cursed,  
"Oh, May, I totally forgot, I am so sorry." He pulled his phone out and rushed to text Tony. May sat down across from Peter,  
"It's fine, as long as someone takes you in when I'm gone." Peter nodded, he always forgot these sort of things. May has asked him to when he was patrolling and he had filed it away in the back of his mind to alert Tony later but then it had slipped from his mind.  
  
"We got to get you an alarm or something bud, or maybe a memo app." Peter drummed his finger in an insistent pattern mindlessly, "yeah maybe," he said, even though what May had said hadn't registered in his mind. He was bouncing up in down in his seat, toes tapping on the ground.  
  
_ 'You always do this Peter,'_  
  
Peter flicked his head. The sandwhich was diminishing fast in his hands, May would often put anything in front of Peter when he was in a mood so that the boy would eat it mindlessly with out questioning why he was eating.  
  
"You know Peter," May began, 

  
_ 'Calm down!' The voice screeched banging on the thick of his skul_l.  
  
"I was talking to Tony and we were thinking about letting you stay full time,"  
  
'_You're going to hurt someone,' it screeched, clawing, hissing._  
  
"Does that sound fun?" Peter looked up from his sandwhich nearly choking,  
"Really?" May smiled saddely, "yeah, I think you'd be a better fit there with Tony and Pepper.' 

  
_ 'Calm down! She sees you, she sees right through you. She knows how many people you can hurt, she knows that they've better equipped to handle your problems, like an experiment.' _

  
Peter jumped to his feet grinning,  
"Oh my god May that's the best," he flung forward with enough speed to knock the air from her lungs and gripped her tight until her joints grinded together and back popped. May cried out in pain, she slammed at Peter's shoulders gasping for air.  
"Pete-Peter let me..", she screamed, "let me go." 

  
_ 'You always hurt everyone you love, that's why you can't stay with her. You can kill her with a flick of your finger_.' 

  
Peter jumped away and giggled nervously,  
"Oh my god May!" He giggled and rushed forward to check her "are you okay?" May gasped for air through pursed lips,  
"I'm fine." She shook her head and swallowed shakily, "I swear..I'm fine."

  
  
_'Stop it Peter! Is this a joke to you, stop it. Wake up, wake up, wake up!'_  


  
Peter stare in horror at what he'd down, he turned on his heels and ran from the apartment. He didn't bother with the formalities of a suit-or shoes for that matter, he swung from building to building, as far away from May as he can. He was smiling against the wind as a steady pattern laid out at his feet.  
  
Swing, run, swing.  
  
Swing, run, swing.  
  
Peter shook his head channeling all the adrenaline, all that extra energy into just running. The burning of his lungs was nearly unbearable but so was the fact that he hurt May. His feet wouldn't allow him to stop.  
  
It wouldn't allow him to stop until his knees locked up and he crumbled somewhere in middle Brooklyn- on top of a gym. His heels black from gravel and asphalt, hair whipped widely to stand up on end. He sat down still in his pajamas and struggled against his racing lungs. 

  
_ 'You hurt her Peter. Can you deal with that? Tony's not going to want someone like you now, you hurt your own Aunt!'_

  
Peter laid back against a crate and wheezed.  
"Karen?" He asked into his watch,  
'Hello, Peter, how are you today.' Peter gasped, "I...that's not important can you disable tracker?' Karen was silent and his watched ticked as if in thought,  
'I'm afraid I can't do that, the trackers part of the hardware not the software." Peter sighed,  
"I'm going to have to remove it aren't I?"  
  
'I'd advise against it, Peter. You have eight missed calls from your Aunt wanting to know where you are and ten missed calls from Tony asking if you're okay. Ms. Potts is currently trying to call you now. Should I answer?" Peter slammed his head against the crate, "ignore all."  
  
Peter undid the clutch on his watch and pried open the back with a screw driver he found near his hand. He went through the mechanisms testing to see what each wire was connected to, with careful instructions from Karen.  
"God damn it, Tony. You know I can't work with hard ware as well."  
"I believe that was the purpose, Peter."  
  
"Peter, in coming call from, Tony. Would you like to accept?" Peter rolled his eyes,  
"No Karen, block all calls."  
"Even from Ned, MJ, Harvey? They are currently messaging you." Peter stood up and flicked the tracker to the ground,  
"Yes, Karen. Mute all in coming messages, alert me if there's an emergency."  
  
Peter zoned out after that, he paid no attention to his surroundings even as his feet cut open when he landed on glass and his arm slammed into a buildings side, hard.  
"Peter I'd advise you to go get medic help this instant and talk to your aunt. I'm worried about you." Peter flicked his head like it was another voice in his head feeding him lies.  
  
"I'm activating the rebellious teen protocol, Peter." Peter stopped,  
"Karen what do you mean by-", the watch started beeping, the words alert flashing red on the screen. Small nano bots scuttled out down Peter's legs binding him together by his ankles.  
"Karen-wha-", the watch unclipped and cuffed around his wrists. "Karen let go of me this instant."  
  
"I'm sorry Peter, I have deemed you unfit to continue and it was way past your curfew. Since you are not in your suit I have resorted to drastic measures, please wait till Tony comes to pick you up." Peter struggled in his bonds spewing curses at Karen.  
  
  
"Good morning, Spidey. It seems your five hours past your midnight curfew." Tony landed on the roof with a clunk and walked out of his suit. "May has been worried sick, you even ignored Pepper. Do you know how many people have done that ever, zero. You better have a great apology when we get back." Peter stared up at Tony who looked more worried than pissed and all of it crashed into Peter brushing over him in waves until he collapsed on himself.  
  
He felt weightless and weighed down. Everything was gone, the build up in his chest relaesee in one long sigh and he turned out the world in grey, a crippling lack of anything falling over him.  
"I'm sorry," he whispered. Tony cocked his head,  
"Hey, kiddo? What's up?" Peter shook his head the color to his voice gone,  
"Nothing just-just do whatever. I'm tired."  
  
  
Pepper embraced Peter in a hug when Tony dropped him off at the tower.  
"We were worried sick kid." Peter nodded,  
"I'm sorry," he hummed, "I was...I needed space."  
'Boss, Peter currently has twenty small lacerations on his foot, several friction burns on his hands and a large abrasion on his bicep.'  
"Thank you, Friday," Pepper said.  
  
"Alrighty Peter we need to get you to the medic pronto. You don't even look like you feel it, are you okay." Peter looked down at his feet and the sight of his feet raw and dripping with blood was explosively painful, all the hurt in his body came rushing in. His joints were stiff and his feet felt like a million screws being drilled into the soles.  
  
"I'm not crazy," Peter insisted. Pepper nodded,  
"I know, Pete. Tony gets like this, but not as badly." She guided him to the med bay where Harley was waiting with bandages in his hands.  
"Jeez, Petey, you look like hell." Peter nodded exhaustion smothering any anger Harley's words might incur. Harley got to his knees and began to wash Peter's feet of the grime.  
  
"How long was he out there," Pepper whispered to Tony when he walked back in.  
"Five hours." Pepper shook her head and looked at Peter with pity, "kid needs sleep. Tell May we found him and he'll be over to apologize tomorrow." Tony nodded, "Already on it." Harley listened with him as he bandaged Peter's feet.  
  
Tony had escorted Peter to Peter's overnight room in a wheelchair.  
"You're not walking until your feet are all healed up, that means no more patrol and a break from school," Peter nodded mutely, why should he care? His family had laid him out in bed and wished him goodnight, closing the door behind them. Peter was left with his thoughts.  
  
He felt like someone had cut open his chest and pulled his heart out, replacing it with a rock or hunk of metal they found from the ground. It hadn't been disinfected so little bits floated off into his blood stream pinching his veins. He curled up in his blanket and closed his eyes waiting to see if insomnia was waiting for him tonight.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So often times I end up getting too much spent energy I hurt people on an impulse. But Peter has super powers so its worse.


	4. Over Stimulation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wish I had friends like Peter's. Tony is a great Dad and Flash must be punched in every fic. Or you know has a redemption arc, unfortunately he doesn't in this.

The world was to loud.  
  
Peter walked on his toes across the room, his sweater sleeves bunched at his fingers.  
"Dude," Ned whispered, "calm down you look like you're going to jump up to the ceiling."  
"He could do that you know," MJ added. Peter nodded snapping his fingers,  
"Do you guys know what we're doing for class today?" Ned opened his mouth to speak but Peter interrupted him, "never mind I remember." Peter didn't tend to get this jumpy in public before the bite, but after his senses were heightened the over stimulation would only get worse. Especially in crowds and his coping methods weren't always so good.  
  
They were late for class. The teacher barely raised an eyebrow as they snuck in and filed to the back.  
"You're late, losers," Harley mumbled as he watched the teacher scribble on the chalk board. Peter slid in next to him and looked up at the board,  
"Sorry, everything was crowded."  
"Yeah it was like a whole sea of children," Ned whispered.  
  
The teacher cleared his throat,  
"Eyes on the board class." MJ smirked and snapped a picture of the board with her phone,  
"I'm living in 2020 y'all." She opened her notebook to a sketch of Ned stuttering around Betty, "have fun writing, bitches."  
  
Peter opened his notes and began to copy from the board in short bubbe like letters that scrawled across the page. He hated writing, his hand writing was a mess because of how fast his brain worked ahead of him so he often found himself having to re-write his notes. Today Peter would zone out every moment or so and glazed over the board with vacant eyes, his pen hovering above the paper. He'd much rather be typing but the teacher insisted that unplugging built character.  
  
"Alrighty class on to the next topic," he erased the board and began to write a new equation. Peter huffed, realizing he had only written a couple of lines. Harley smiled, "here, borrow mine." He leaned away so that he could copy the board and let Peter copy from him.  
  
"Did everybody get the notes?" Peter looked up at the board and concentrated.  
  
_Focus_  
  
_ Focus, Parker focus_  
  
Half way through focusing he realized he had focused so hard on focusing he hadn't read anything from the board. He groaned thumping his head against the desk. MJ looked up from her notebook,  
"Just take pictures, Parker."  
"That's cheating," he insisted.  
  
  
Class ended at lunch. Peter had forgotten it at the tower in his haste to be on time. Ned had noticed as he slid in to their table with a tray balanced on his lap.  
"Come on Peter, again?" 

  
_'You annoy them. They're frustrating them with your issues.' _

  
Peter scratched his neck sheepishly,  
"I'm sorry, I have a credit card from Tony, I'll use that." Ned shook his head,  
"You need to set a reminder in your phone-",  
"I have one," Peter bit out brittle and cold. Ned nodded, "cool, I'll help you remind you too in the morning. You're going to wear yourself thin. We care about you."  
  
"Did Parker forget his lunch," MJ said.  
"Called it," Harvey shouted. Peter flicked at the helm of his sweater,  
"Seriously guys it's fine. I'll buy it."  
"Nah-uh," Harvey split his sandwhich and have Peter his half, "we can share, Pepper made lunch and you don't just skip out on that, you have to eat it."  
  
Peter took his half and smiled sheepishly,  
"I have a fast metabolism, my lunch was bigger."  
"You can have some of mine," Ned supplied, "we don't want you maxing out your credit card." MJ rolled a fruit cup toward Peter with a lazy flick of her wrist,  
"Eat it, you need your sugars." She looked back in her book, frowning in concentration.  
  
  
"Yo, Parker." Flash kneeled in front of their table smirking, "Noticed your friends have to feed you now. Does your poor orphan ass not have enough money for lunch" He glared warily at Harley, shaking fingers curling around a small scar on his lip that Harley had given him after hearing Flash cat-call Peter for the first time. Harley's hands clenched into a fist,  
"Get out of here," Harley whispered deathly soft.  
"Or what," Flash snarked.  
  
Peter flinched away their voices crawling all over his skin. He took a deep breath reigning in the irritation, his urge to smash Flash's skull in so hard he broke the table and dented the linoleum.  
"Go away, Flash." Flash stole a chip from Ned's tray,  
"Or what you'll cry to Daddy Stark?" Peter stood up and marched from the room, frustration percolating in his throat. He slammed the bathroom door behind him and locked himself in a stall.  
  
He slid down to the ground and took a deep, shuttering breath jamming his fingers in his ears. His breath came out in short puffs.  
  
_Calm down _  
  
_ Calm down_  
  
He breathed in, held and sealed his lung, holding it in. He tapped his foot and sighed out, twitching back and forth restlessly.  
"Hey, Pete." Ned knocked on the bathroom door tentatively, "Are you okay?" Peter ignored him shuffling further away from the door.  
  
Ned sat down on the other side of the stall resting his head against the frame.  
"MJ punched Flash, Harley wanted to but he was already on a warning and I doubt Tony could do anything to help if he harmed poor Ms. Thompson's baby boy." Peter sniffed, the tick of his smile twitching. Ned continues, tapping on the stall door, "He asked MJ if you were as awkward in bed as you were in real life and she punched him hard enough that I think his nose broke," Peter scowled. 

  
_ They put all that trouble in for you, do you really think you deserve it? When are they going to realize how embarrassing it is that they cared this much for a little science experiment.' Peter's mind flashed to an image of Harley dumping a mistake in the lab in the scrap bin. It's limbs had been jerky and the wires were too muddled together. 'That's what you'll be later on.'_

  
"You know what Ned," Peter snapped, "I honestly don't care. Leave me alone, you're not making anything better." He pressed his palms to his ears frowning.  
"Oh," Ned stuttered out, "I'm sorry, I'll tell the teacher you're in the nurse. Do I need to call Tony?" Peter sighed, usually he was never aggressive, when his head began to muddle his perspective he would usually avoid human contact like the plague. Most people never pursued him but Ned and MJ, everyone new in his life was just too stubborn to leave him alone. He was never this aggressive before. He supposed it was like cornering an animal.  
  
The only other time he could think of him lashing was when a friend in seventh grade had bumped into him at a party spelling punch down Peter's front. Peter yelled loud enough to drown out the music reducing his friend to tears.  
  
"Just go away Ned! Give me space!" Ned stood up and fled the room covering his eyes. Peter waited until the room was empty until he slid the lock open with a heavy click of the lock and slingshot to the sink scrubbing his hands raw. Bright red. His skin was crawling, he felt like a thousand bugs were marching on his arms, or oil dipped fluff had been stuck to his cheeks. He lowered his head avoiding the mirror in an endless pattern of guilt.  


\------------------ ----------------------- ---------------------  
  
"Tony I'm in the office and they want me to call my parent." Tony sighed, the phone made it sound tinny, vacant,  
"What did you do Harley?" Harley looked back to the principal's office where Ms. Thompson was screaming bloody murder clutching Flash's shoulder who looked arguably pissed as he pressed a ice pack wrapped in a towel soaked through with blood.  
  
"I didn't do anything, I simply held someone down as MJ broke their nose." Whatever Tony was working on he must of dropped it in shock because a loud clatter echoed through the speakers, exploding in Harley's ear,  
"What!" Harley rolled his eyes, "Did you hear me old man? Flash was messing with Pete and we beat him up again. And Mommy dearest could only be bothered to come when her name or son's honor was insulted or something." He flicked a ball of lint off his shoulder, "Pete's having an anxiety attack in the bathroom and doesn't want to talk to anyone right now. He snapped at Ned." Tony collected whatever he had dropped and pushed it aside, "On a scale of one to ten how in trouble are you?"  
  
"Me? Not so much, I managed to convince them that he backed up into me and I grabbed him in shock- they even got it on camera, can you believe it Tones?" Harley could imagine Tony pinching his nose and knitting his eyebrows.  
"What about M.J?"  
"Oh her," Harley looked out into the hallway as Ms. Jones yelled at her daughter while the Vice Principal tried to calm her down. Harley shrugged,  
"Yeah I'd say she's in a fare bit of trouble." Tony cursed, "fine, I'm coming to pick up Peter, get your stuff. I'll try and see what I can do."  
  
  
Peter shuffled out of the bathroom with peeling skin on his hands and red rims around his eyes. He stopped in front of Harley and gave him a tentative smile,  
"Hey...I wanted to say thanks for standing up for me." Harley handed him his backpack,  
"Thank M.J, she's the one who broke his nose." Peter nodded, slinging his bag on his shoulder,  
"Yeah...I will-have you seen Ned, I...I yelled at him and I feel awful." Harley stared in distaste at the state of Peter's hands, "sorry, I haven't. But he's coming over to the Tower tonight so you can apologize then." He slung his arm over Peter's shoulder and steered him toward the door, "Tony's here to pick us up." He opened the Principal's door to Tony screaming at the Principal and Vice Principal as the Thompsons looked on with horror.  
  
  
"And another thing! If you continue to ignore the harrassment of my child I will sue the hell out of you for mistreatment and neglect of minors. My son is constantly reduced to borderline panic attacks because of this little-", he paused as Peter crowded into the corner to avoid the awkward air in the room. It bristled on his nerves making the discomfort in his brain a thousand times worse.  
  
"Hey, Petey are you okay?" He collected Peter in his arms, "let me see your hands." He looked over the state of Peter's finger, he clucked his tongue. "Peter, I told you not to do that anymore, remember when your hands cracked open like that, we had to put all that ointment on it." Peter nodded timidly,  
"I'm sorry, I know. It just feels so weird...I was trying to get my skin to stop crawling" Tony turned on the principal snarling,  
"I hear about this again and I report this school has a health code violation or safety violation. I don't care, that whimp says anything to Peter or Harley or anyone else ever again I shut this dump down."  
  
He grabbed Harley and Peter by their hands and dragged them out the door grumbling under his breath,  
"I don't understand why you idiots insist on staying here, the four of you could all be learning at MIT with a snap of my fingers." They passed by Ms. Jones in the hall as she shouted threats at Michelle her arms crossed threateningly,  
"Your grandma's still offering to pay for that all girls catholic school, one more slip-up and I might just consider it, how could you be so stupid, you'll be lucky you don't get kicked out, how is this going to look on your...rec..", she paused as Tony stopped in front of her smiling at her daughter.  
"Hello, Ms. Jones, your daughter showed real initiative today, I already have a job set aside for her for when she graduates but if she keeps this up there might just be a scholarship on her future."  
  
Ms. Jones gaped,  
"I-I-I," she stuttered shaking her head, "I...thank you! Mr...Mr..Tony Stark, Mr. Stark?" She clamped her mouth shut and smiled dazed, "thank you so much."  
  
Tony nodded, dragging his kids behind him as they giggled at Ms. Jones shock.  
"Come on guys we're getting Ice cream." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the whole handwashing thing Peter does in this is loosely based off of one of my maladaptive coping methods when I'm over stimulated. I guess just most of what Peter does or thinks is based off of me. Including the whole party thing, I don't do well with parties so my friend was trying to get me to sit down because I have a tendency to black out and I shouted at her.


	5. I'm sorry what was that?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isn't it a bitch when you really, really need to hyper focus and you just can't. Also instructions, WTF, who actually follows them correctly the first time?

_We should do something_  
  
_ Like what? _  
  
_ I don't know, just anything other than lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling._  
  
  
Peter stared up at the ceiling with vacant eyes. His body sprawled out, he was wearing a shirt he stole from Ned's closet and Harley's sweater around his scrawny frame. He chewed on his thumb surrounded by piles of clothes and papers spread out over the floor, half constructed Lego sets spread across his desk.  
  
_We should go out on patrol_  
  
_ Why _  
  
_ Because we need something to do _  
  
_ Why _  
  
_ Because we're bored. We should just get up and go_  
  
_ Mmm...no? I think not, staying here is easy._  
  
  
Peter blinked sluggishly tracing the crack in ceiling. He felt hot in Harley's sweater but he couldn't find it in himself to move, he just locked up unwilling to do anything other than breath.  
  
  
_ What about getting a snack?_

_I'm not hungry_

_But we need to move _

_Sounds impossible_

Peter sighed and bit into his thumb, "FRIDAY", he droned, "What's Tony doing?"

'Currently Mr. Stark is working on a project in the lab, would you like me to call him." Peter paused in thought his brain working sluggishly, "uhhh... yeah...no." "Calling Tony." Peter sighed, throwing his arm over his face, "No FRIDAY-just no." He sighed as Tony filtered through the speakers concerned.

"Hey, Peter, you alright?" Peter groaned covering his eyes, "Yes, FRIDAY just heard me wrong." On the other end Tony shuffled with some work, "you know kid, FRIDAY tells me you've been sitting there for almost an hour, you should go out on patrol or something." Peter licked his dry lips, "I don't know, maybe, sounds like too much effort."

'Someone called in a threat to Grand Central that the police currently need assistance with, would you like to help Peter?' Peter groaned, "How long can I get there if I get up and hour from now."

"Peter," Tony warned, "not funny." Peter slunk out of bed steadying himself as he blacked out for a couple of second, "it was a little funny."  
  
  
  
Sometimes New York air was not the most fun to deal with, Peter would swing past a part of town that smelled like rotting flesh, or occasionally he'd pass over a manhole covering that reeked over garbage.  
  
But when he was high above it all running from building to building his hair swept back into his mask as his own little secret from the rest of the world he felt exhilarated.  
"Where am I on time, Karen?"  
'You have exactly thirty minutes till detonation and five minutes till you arrive." Peter stopped on the roof top looking over his city letting wind run through every fiber of his being, he twitched anxiously, snapping. "Alrighty Karen, call Tony."  
  
  
"Did you find it yet kid?" Peter jumped off a ledge down to the ground floor,  
"Ah, yeah, no. I just got there," his hearing honed in on a group of police officers whispering, "it's Taco Thursday for this one precinct though." He could imagine Tony rolling their eyes, "kay, kid. I need you to focus, can you tell me what you see?"  
  
Peter stood in the crowd, snapping his fingers nervously.  
"Uh, they're all crowding into this one room, I think that's where it is." He walked up to the man that looked like he was the highest ranking authority. "Excuse me sir, but I need you to evacuate everyone from the building, all your officers and civilians and wait till the bombsquad gets here." The officer spared him a look,  
"And why the hell would I do that?"  
  
'FRIDAY says ETA on the bombsquad is an hour and a half,' Karen chimed in, 'even if you evacuate detonation is imminent.' Peter pushed the man aside,  
"Your men won't be here in time, I'll deactivate it myself."  
"With the help of your caring and loving boss of course," Tony scolded, "you're not going in there unless you have me in your ear. I've already hacked into their comms, they've got strict instructions to fall back and blockade the next two streets."  
  
Peter began to web up the room, layering sheets upon sheets.  
"Kid we're supposed to be disabling a threat, what're you doing?" Peter grunted quietly as he webbed the rest of the room till it looked like a small dome, "don't worry about it, I've got it." His mind was begining to space out, flitting across the room and urging him to jump up around the nest he had made.  
  
_I liked webbing the room, it was fun, let's do it again! _  
  
_ No, we need to concentrate_  
  
_ I wanna web the room _  
  
_ Why_  
  
_ I don't know, it's fun_  
  
_ But- _  
  
_ Web the room!_  
  
_ No! _  
  
Peter crouched over the small package in the middle of the room-strangely it was wrapped in Alien gift paper,  
"Alright, Tony, talk to me." Tony pulled up the camera lens on Peter's suit,  
"Okay, so cut the package open carefully." Peter did so despite his fingers twitching to web the whole thing up and chuck it across the room so he could continue to decorate the room like a haunted mansion rip off.  
  
Tony hissed,  
"That's not good. Kid, I need you to pay close attention because there are a ton of instructions." Peter nodded,  
"I've got Karen, we're good, she'll tell me when I'm wrong."  
  
  
_This is boring. _  
  
_ We're literally disabling a-_  
  
_ I don't care! This is boring, you know what's fun, webbing up the room. Come on! _  
  
_ No! _  
  
_ Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up!_  
  
Peter twitched,  
"Can I get the instructions," Peter choked out. Tony sighed,  
"Alright kid, cut three blues wire all together gripping them in a bunch can you do that?" Peter nodded, cutting the bunch, "got it, next one."  
"Now I need you to yank the yellow wire out of its origin and the red wire out of it's origin, cross the wires please?" Peter nodded, "I..I-yeah, we're good, got it. Next."  
  
_Concentrate _  
  
_ Concentrate _  
  
_ Concentrate _  
  
_ Concentrate _  
  
_ Concentrate _  
  
"Peter!" Peter blinked and his eyes focused back on the timer, ten minutes to go. He sighed out, "I am so sorry Tony, I..here, give me the next step." Tony clicked his pen nervously, "...alright, sure. So I need you to-."

  
_I really, really, really want a churro-_

  
_ I'm bored-_

  
** _ All the single ladies! All the single ladies!_ **

  
Peter blinked,  
"Can you repeat that?" Tony sighed, "I need you to cut the black wire, now it's very important that you don't hesitate because-", Peter snipped the black wire, "I got it, next?" The alarm started counting down rapidly, reaching single digits as Peter stood like an audience outside of his body-god he was a dumb-ass, he braced for impact as the number rounded zero.  
  
\--------------------- ----------------- ---------------------  
  
"Peter?" Tony slammed his desk, "Peter!" He breathed in quickly,  
"FRIDAY, call suit."  
"Already on it boss."  
  
He was out the door before Pepper could tell him to be careful or Harley could ask him what's wrong, he just raced toward Peter faster than the armor advised against.  
"I swear to God Peter if you're dead I will ground you." He zoomed past the crowd, landing just beyond the door his heart gripping his throat, slamming into it like a punching bag, the room was still intact, why was it still in tact?  
"FRIDAY, explain."  
'It appears Peter used some of Shuri's tech to absorb the size of the explosion as a fall-back.' Tony swore, tearing the door down with a simple slam of his fist, "That stupid genius, he knew didn't he. Why didn't he just web it up and leave?"  
'The tech was still experimental.'  
  
Peter was laying the middle of the room, wrapped in webbing and the charred patches of his suit.  
"FRIDAY, report."  
"Vital levels low." Tony dove forward hefting his son in his arms,  
"Call the tower, I want the medbay ready for him pronto."  
  
Pepper was the first to speak, her voice surprisingly level, steady with an anger and pain that frayed the strings of her tone,  
"Viz has the Med-bay ready for Peter, hang on Tony." And then Harley clambered over her to respond,  
"How's Peter?" Tony looked down at Peter and bit his tongue, lying through his teeth, "he....he looks fine-yeah."  
  
He lands at the tower with a dull thud, the armor melts away before he's even on the ground. Vision waits for them with open arms,  
"Give me the boy," he says sternly, "I can deal with it from here." Tony looked down at Peter with vacant eyes,  
"please," he begged softly, "take care of my kid." He wanders behind Vision shell-shock, the pattern of ash and fire that traced Peter's skin was glued to the inside of his eyelids.  
  
And then Harley marches over seething,  
"You told me he was alright. That doesn't look alright!" Tony shook his head mutely,  
"I...I'm sorry- he's," Tony slumped to the floor clutching his head, "I can't loose him, I can't lose you." He pulled Harley in, hugging him tight to his chest, "Please don't hate me, please." Harley pat Tony's head reassuringly, tears stung his eyes. "I don't hate you Tony, I swear I could never hate you."  
"I'm sorry."  
\---------------- ---------------- -------------- --------------  
  
Peter woke up with a searing pain in his right arm, through a haze of pain medicine and sleep he examined it. And would immediately pass out.  
  
  
\------------- ----------------- -------------- -------------  
"-eter?" Peter shook his head pushing the voice to the back of his mind, he needed sleep. He wanted peace.  
  
"Guys, I think he's waking up, come here." Peter shook his head trying to dispel the voice, he urged his thoughts to be quiet. The more he thought the more he'd want to get up. "-eter?" He recognized that voice, whose voice was that? He shook his head as light filtered in with all the thoughts.  
  
These were the sort of thoughts that he liked to call his mini Pepper's. They walked into his mind first thing in the morning reminding him he needed to work on and what the day entailed. She was followed closely behind by anxiety, the drill sergeant that screamed at him to hurry up or else everything in the perfect plan would fall apart. Both were currently arguing with him insisting he wake up.  
  
Peter opened his eyes to whitness, he blinked and yet nothing cleared.  
"Mmph? 'Arls?" He shook his head praying the fog would clear, "D-Tony?" The air was tense with pity, he could feel it on his skin, a muted silence of loud swallowing and stiff breaths.  
"I know you guys are there, why can't I see?" Tony coughed-Peter could tell it was him, it was attentive, wet, results of constantly moving things in and out of your ribcage.  
"Petey, the bomb had a flash bang on it, your cornea was injured but we should be able to cure it." Peter couldn't sigh in relief, there was a but coming. "What aren't you guys telling me," he asked skeptically.  
  
Harley held his hand tight,  
"Pete, how much do you feel in your arm?" The resounding lack of something came crashing in, usually he'd be irritated by the sheets or bothered by a random ticklish feeling that came from nothing, but his arm- oh God- he realized.  
"What happened?"  
  
May ran her hands through his hair,  
"You-you...the explosion Peter, you were burned, it was awful. They needed to re-." Peter shook his head and his skin began to crawl, he shook his head and the thoughts began to role in, he shook his head and the rest of the world was gone.

  
_Nobody wants somebody without an arm, it's ugly._

  
Peter shook his head,  
"No."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never lost an arm but Peter with a prosthetic is kind of a prompt I fell in love with. Also, should I add full on Peter/Harley?


	6. Impulse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, depression hit me like a truck. I've trying to rebuild my will to write so I've been slowly working on all these OC challenges and OTP prompts but I figured-what the hell summer's ending, this story needs to end. 
> 
> Impulses are kind of great sometimes, so sometimes if I can't make a decision I go on an impulse-I probably could've written a longer chapter if it was the negative side of impulses but this is a 5 +1 fic. COMMENT PLEASE!!! I LOVE COMMENTS IT'S MY LIFES BLOOD!!

His new arm looked clunky. It was a prototype until they were able to get enough vibranium to build him a new one. So Peter was stuck with a semi plastic shell wrapped around bits and pieces. Tony has assembled it for him last minute and had worried Peter would hate it the whole time he worked. In the end Peter had taken one look at it and burst into tears. Harley however had taken one look at it and decided to stick little heart shaped fridge magnets on it until Peter reluctantly asked him to stop.   
"I'm trying work, Hals', you're distracting me." Any day now his new arm would come, made by Shuri herself and Peter would be able to go on patrol again. 

Evertime he closed his eyes he could feel New Yorks wind hitting his face, his fingers gripping the webs. The little whoosh in his stomach like he was riding a rollercoaster. But the thrill couldn't possibly be compared because he loved it, he loved the mask, the suit all of it. This was part of his DNA now and he couldn't erase it.

"So," Tony hummed, "what's this I hear about a field trip to the tower?" Peter blushed, "I swear it's nothing, we're just walking around the museum and one of the labs, I've asked FRIDAY not to say anything about the internship at all-",   
"Do people still not believe you?" The lab was static with silence.

Peter ducked his head, "it's not that, it's...Flash just didn't tell anyone he saw you and so everybody just thinks that he's lost interest in bullying me." Tony grinded his teeth, "this is exactly why I scheduled the field trip, your class can't just keep treating you like shit." He jumped in his chair, reeling back when a wire shocked his thumb, "jesus." Tony looked up to see a fuming Peter shaking in his seat, "you did what?" 

Tony went pale,   
"Those kids need to know how special you are, what kind of half assed excuse did you make for your arm?"   
"Car accident," Peter mumbled.   
"See, exactly. As soon as your ready for your identity to be out there we will tell the world in our own regulated way, but for now people should believe you at least lost your arm in some guns blazing, glory story. Car crash," Tony scoffed, "lame." 

They worked in silence until the sun dipped on New York, the view from their lab was indescribable, vast and crystal clear just out there, sometimes Peter couldn't believe it was all real. He wouldn't appreciate as much as he did now he supposed-most people don't feel the cities gravel against their hands during the thrill of a fight, or hear the heart beat of the city, comprised of cars and people and earth's ineffable heart beat that you could only feel in a certain center point. When the world around you was malleable, reality and time pushing off the little shield your mind has put up. Peter felt life in everything in New York. 

"Tony," he said softly his eyes trained on the sky scrappers, "I love you." He wanted to panic, the impulse had now melted through his like acid, trickling from his lips and through his teeth but Tony smiled at him like Ben had when he was little- like he was sure his father had when Peter was a baby. And then Tony said,   
"Love you too, kid. But don't tell Harley, he'll want us to have a moment too." Peter grinned, "Of course boss."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I do a field trip fix? I feel like some of Peter's classmates need an ass kicking, Also, just rewatched Spiderman: Far from home and oh my god I just realized how bad Peter is with keeping his identity a secret like, MJ, Vulture, Airport lady, Ned, May? Like this boy just needs to stop stressing and just not keep an identity-now the whole world knows.

**Author's Note:**

> Questions, comments, concerns?


End file.
